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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23778298">Operation: Get Sephiroth and Cloud to fucc</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragon_boi/pseuds/Dragon_boi'>Dragon_boi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Final Fantasy VII</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AU, Humor, I'm so sorry, M/M, Sexual Humor, chatfic, commission, groupchat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:00:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,142</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23778298</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragon_boi/pseuds/Dragon_boi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Zack tries his hand at getting his two friends together. It doesn’t exactly go as planned.</p><p>A commission for my dear friend Chowder.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sephiroth/Cloud Strife</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>115</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Operation: Get Sephiroth and Cloud to fucc</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chowder/gifts">Chowder</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I have never played FF7. All the characters are based off what I've seen in the fandom and what my friends have told me. Again, I'm sorry.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Cloud sent a message to Sephiroth</span>
  </em>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Cloud:</b>
  <span> Hey!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth:</b>
  <span> Wow, well isn’t this is a surprise. You’ve never been the one to initiate the conversation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth: </b>
  <span>In fact, this is the first time you've ever privately messaged me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Cloud:</b>
  <span> Oh</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Cloud:</b>
  <span> It's just I have something important to tell you dude</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth:</b>
  <span> "Dude"? This is a very strange mood you are in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Cloud: </b>
  <span>It's because I'm nervous I guess I'm not thinking straight</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth:</b>
  <span> And you are being honest with your feelings around me? This is truly a surprise. I wonder what's gotten into you Cloud.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Cloud:</b>
  <span> I hate you. Die in a fire.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth:</b>
  <span> Ah, now there's the Cloud I know. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth:</b>
  <span> So, what is this important thing you needed to tell me? I have to admit, you've peaked my interest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Cloud:</b>
  <span> Um well this is hard for me to say but I think I'm attracted to you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth:</b>
  <span> Oh?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Cloud</b>
  <span>: Yeah I think your hair is so beautiful luscious and long I just want to sniff it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth:</b>
  <span> Okay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Cloud:</b>
  <span> I love your figure your ass is out of this world your boobs are so succulent like a bee I just want to slurp on your flowers until that sweet sweet nectar comes out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth:</b>
  <span> Okay. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Cloud</b>
  <span>: Um so yeah. I think you are hot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth:</b>
  <span> I'm guessing you are expecting a response from me. I should give you one since you've been so...brave to confess. Though, honestly, I do not know how. I never expected you to be this forward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Cloud:</b>
  <span> You could respond by emailing me a pic of your gorgeous naked body.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth:</b>
  <span> Excuse me. Are you asking for a nude?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Cloud: </b>
  <span>Maybe ;)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth:</b>
  <span> This really isn't like you at all. I have a lot to digest. Please give me time to sit on this information.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Cloud:</b>
  <span> No problem!</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>PuppyDog sent a message to Operation: Get Sephiroth and Cloud to fucc so they can stop being pent-up grumpy bitches</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>PuppyDog:</b>
  <span> I think I fucked up</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Abs:</b>
  <span> Oh did you now mister "I'm the master of seduction"? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>PuppyDog:</b>
  <span> yeah :/</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>FlowerGirl420:</b>
  <span> What happened?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>PuppyDog:</b>
  <span> Apparently I was so good with my flirting that Sephiroth suspects that I'm not Cloud</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>FlowerGirl420: </b>
  <span>You know, we really should have thought about that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Abs:</b>
  <span> I did! I told Zack like 5 times that he needed to act like Cloud!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>PuppyDog: </b>
  <span>i wasn't listening</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Abs:</b>
  <span> Ugh</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Flowergirl420: </b>
  <span>It's okay Tifa honey, you tried your best.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Abs:</b>
  <span> Thanks love :)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Elena:</b>
  <span> Um, sorry to interrupt but, I'm not entirely sure why you invited the Turks to this group chat?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Elena:</b>
  <span> Aren't we enemies?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Flowergirl420:</b>
  <span> This is more important than our rivalry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Elena:</b>
  <span> We've tried to kill you guys?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>PuppyDog:</b>
  <span> you do not understand how badky those two need to fuck</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Abs:</b>
  <span> I hate Sephiroth as much as the next guy but, those two need to hate fuck so badly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Abs:</b>
  <span> I'm afraid the sexual tension between those two will eventually build up so much it'll cause a nuclear explosion.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Elena: </b>
  <span>Um, and this constitutes a peace pact between us?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Good little slut &lt;3:</b>
  <span> yes it does listen to them elena This is important.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Elena:</b>
  <span> Well, alright</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Good little slut &lt;3: </b>
  <span>honestly those two are driving me Crazy</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Good little slut &lt;3</b>
  <span>: whenever I get Horny I just go out and Fuck</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Elena</b>
  <span>: I know Reno</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Good little slut &lt;3:</b>
  <span> I would never be able to get to the point those boys are at</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Good little slut&lt;3: </b>
  <span>The second I feel the need to fuck I fuck noo building-up bullshit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Elena:</b>
  <span> I know Reno</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Good little slut &lt;3:</b>
  <span> Hell the first time I had sexual thoughts about Rude I didn't hesitate for a second I showed him my hole immediately</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Rude:</b>
  <span> We know Reno, we were all there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Abs</b>
  <span>: We were literally all there, it was in the middle of a fight dude…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Good little slut &lt;3:</b>
  <span> Yes exactly! I don't know what these morons are waiting for</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Flowergirl420:</b>
  <span> Unfortunately, this is what happens when two extremely emotionally repressed people want to have sex</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Abs:</b>
  <span> Both are too stubborn to be the first one to give in and put down their "I hate you" facade</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>PuppyDog:</b>
  <span> Man this is seriously like perry the platypus and dr doofenshmirtz</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Abs:</b>
  <span> I'm begging you to shut the fuck up</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>PuppyDog:</b>
  <span> I thought I was being poetic…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Good little slut &lt;3: </b>
  <span>Pffffft see this is why you guys should have let me be the fake Cloud</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Flowergirl420: </b>
  <span>You would have somehow fucked it up even worse than Zack did</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Good little slut &lt;3:</b>
  <span> Ouch</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Rude:</b>
  <span> Is this plan ruined then?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Abs:</b>
  <span> I don't know we'll have to see</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Abs:</b>
  <span> But I'm going to guess yes</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Elena:</b>
  <span> That's unfortunate...I think? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Elena:</b>
  <span> What are you going to do now?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Flowergirl420: </b>
  <span>Don't worry, we have 15 more back up plans</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Elena:</b>
  <span> Wow! This really means a lot to you guys</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Abs:</b>
  <span> It really really does</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>PuppyDog:</b>
  <span> Don't worry guys I'm sure our next attempt will be a success! :D</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Abs:</b>
  <span> We've excluded you from the remaining 15 plans</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>PuppyDog:</b>
  <span> D:</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Cloud sent a message to Sephiroth</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Cloud:</b>
  <span> What scheme are you trying to pull?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth:</b>
  <span> Well hello to you too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Cloud:</b>
  <span> I'm not going to play games with you, tell me what you are trying to do. NOW.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth:</b>
  <span> Well, aren't you being a little aggressive. What's wrong Cloud?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Cloud: </b>
  <span>You want me to say it out loud?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth:</b>
  <span> Hm? What's that?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Cloud:</b>
  <span> I don't know what you were trying to pull by sending me a picture of your naked body but whatever it is, you aren't going to win.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth:</b>
  <span> Is this supposed to be a joke? You asked me directly for them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Cloud: </b>
  <span>Nice try, but I'm used to your stupid, little tricks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Cloud:</b>
  <span> If you don't tell me what your plan is right now, then I'm leaving.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth:</b>
  <span> This a drastically different change from this afternoon. What is wrong with you? I don't find this kind of role-playing appealing, you know.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Cloud:</b>
  <span> Fuck off Sephiroth</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth:</b>
  <span> Hm, you are really going to play this game? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth:</b>
  <span> It's okay, you know, to love me. I'll admit I've always found you to be quite...special.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Cloud:</b>
  <span> Seriously, be quiet. I don't want to hear any more of your tricks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth:</b>
  <span> Oh is that so? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth:</b>
  <span> Screenshot.jpeg</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth:</b>
  <span> Then what was this all about?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Cloud:</b>
  <span> Are you being serious? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth: </b>
  <span>Very much so.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Cloud:</b>
  <span> That's Zack's account, he just changed his username to Cloud.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth:</b>
  <span> What do you mean?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Cloud:</b>
  <span> You can tell because the profile picture is different than mine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sephiroth:</b>
  <span> Oh, I see. Well, I've never gotten the hang of these new technologies.</span>
</p><p> </p><p><b>Cloud:</b> <em><span>You can not send messages to this user</span></em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>User Sephiroth has you blocked</span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Meanwhile in Cloud's computer…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>&gt;Open message from </span>
  <a href="mailto:Mamasboy@gmail.com">
    <span>Mamasboy@shinra</span>
  </a>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>&gt;Open attachment</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>&gt;Save image</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>&gt;Image 'for later' was moved to 'Sephiroth' folder</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
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